I'm disappoint of myself.

I just dont know why I couldnt get all my things to be done properly. I did really bad for my mid-year exam. I didnt put any effort on it. Now , I'm kinda regret for why I never study for the exam. I wanna to get good results like others and told myself to be hardworking for it but I didnt make it. I feel myself are a terrible person. I just like being control by someone. I wanna do this way but in the end is another way. I lost my confident that I have , I lost my true smile that I always show , I lost my positive thinking , I lost my mind and I'm gonna to lost my soul. I'm being emo recently but not in front of my friends. I want to find back myself. The one that I always be. The one that I always think positively. The one that I away from problem and stress.

Where am I?