The moment I look at my family member , the one who close to me , the one who are related to me lying on the bed at ICU ward , the heart feel so bitter sour uneasy and it's like crashing. Tears are filling and I don't let the tears to fall because I need to stay in a strong mode. I don't want to let her see my sad face although her eyes are closed. I told myself that " If you want to cry , go home and cry when you sleep. Not here ".

There's many big machine surrounded the bed in a big room. Words , numbers appear on the screen are not understandable. We can't talk to her or touch her at that time but just look at her. I talk to her and pray in the heart , hoping her soul will come back to her and wake up.

This year isn't a good year for my life. There's many hardship to face and cross over the boundary.

My dad is sick right now. A weird sick that cause him hasn't recover yet although he had seek for 5 doctors. Hope he will recover soon. The feeling is terrible when I see him cough like hell with unbreathable look.

Sigh.

*

Netherlands?

Spain?